Cyborg Struttin’

Today I saw someone striding down the high street in a pair of chunky mules, but not just any mules. These were made of some kind of rubbery-looking techno-fabric – it could have been 3D printed, for all I know – and featured a sleeve for a mobile phone. Say what?


The wearer couldn’t have looked happier to not have to carry her phone nor keep it in a bag or even resort to a pocket, which made sense seeing as her outfit didn’t seem to have any inbuilt storage compartments. In any case, she didn’t miss a beat when I stopped to gawp, and proceeded to do some twirls and Charlston-style kicks to demonstrate that the phone was not about to fall out. Gobsmacking stuff, I tell you. 


Seriously, this is the wackiest shoe augmentation I’ve come across since that time took my nephew to the children’s orthotics clinic. Cheltenham is simply not ready for this sort of thing. Or maybe they are, and I’m late to the party. Maybe I could have been parading around town in footwear that looks like it was engineered by NASA in collaboration with an avant garde Japanese design house. 


No matter. It’s fast becoming clear that feet might just be a new site of innovation. From phone pockets to PACT photodynamic therapy and magic cures for plantar fasciitis, feet are a major focus for the fashion and biomedical scenes alike. What a time to be alive! Not only do we get to basically be cyborgs, we also get to look the part. Could we ask for anything more of the twenty-first century?


I mean, a climate that’s hospitable to life would be nice, and a viable plan for keeping the AI armageddon at bay wouldn’t go astray. Maybe a toxin-free water table and a cure for cancer. But when it comes to the minor things, we’re doing alright.