Trend Whisperer

What’s the secret to a kitchen worthy of being featured in an Icelandic design journal in 2020? I’ve got the insider low-down, if you’re interested. Here’s the secret: it’s matte copper and soft terracotta with charcoal accents. You can thank me later, when you’re being interviewed for Dezeenist or PaperWall. 


Why am I giving away this valuable information for free? It’s because I believe that trends should be public access, and in fact they are – it’s just that many people don’t realise this. I’m here to liberate them from the confines of the so-called design industry into the world of the common folk, where they have their most potent effects. I’m not a professional kitchen designer, so it’s not like I’m giving away my own trade secrets, but I’d still like to think I’m doing a valuable public service.


So, what will you do with this information? Will you apply it to your own kitchen, buying into the look at full pelt and reaping the social benefits of being ahead of the curve? Will you translate it into its next iteration, perhaps as an innovative bathroom remodel or next-generation laundry? Will you sell the information onto unsuspecting souls, thereby making a mockery of my interest in the common good? Or will you simply ignore it?


Most people do the latter, not realising just how accurate my intuition is for this type of thing. Six months down the track, they see that I was right, and acquire a certain respect for the arcane art of trend forecasting. This, my friends, is the essential takeaway: there is an art to knowing what cabinet colours will be in fashion next year, as well as a certain level of science. Accuracy is possible, although not a given. 


You might say I’m the Socrates of interior design trends. I understand the source of truth in this esoteric domain, yet I give it away free of charge in the marketplace, much to the chagrin of the other merchants.