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Knightly Problems

Welcome to the tale of an Arthurian knight who fell through time and found himself in 21st century Melbourne. I began my time in the big city seeking out a replacement for my sword. I wandered the streets, seeking the finest blacksmith this land had to offer but could find none at all. Eventually, I …

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Feed Me…

Remind me again why I thought it was a good idea to have kids. Don’t worry, I’m joking… mostly. I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a kernel of truth to the implication that life would be easier without them. Eating well would certainly be easier, I’ll tell you that much. For some reason …

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Hidden Treasures

Reginald has been acting very suspicious lately. It’s not exactly the type of attitude you want from the treasurer of your secret society. Truthfully, his connection to the British Noblemen of Melbourne Society is tenuous at best. None of us has ever heard of Sir Reginald the Bold before, and he could have easily forged …

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Granny A-Go-Go

People probably think I’m a bit batty. I have no illusions about that, and I couldn’t care less. When you reach my age, you’ll understand – especially if you’ve still got your mobility and your wits about you. You can actually have a lot of fun by disregarding rules and regulations, and no one ever …

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Cyborg Struttin’

Today I saw someone striding down the high street in a pair of chunky mules, but not just any mules. These were made of some kind of rubbery-looking techno-fabric – it could have been 3D printed, for all I know – and featured a sleeve for a mobile phone. Say what?   The wearer couldn’t …

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Trend Whisperer

What’s the secret to a kitchen worthy of being featured in an Icelandic design journal in 2020? I’ve got the insider low-down, if you’re interested. Here’s the secret: it’s matte copper and soft terracotta with charcoal accents. You can thank me later, when you’re being interviewed for Dezeenist or PaperWall.    Why am I giving …

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First (Un)impressions

Do you ever see ads for inner city office space for hire and get a sinking feeling on behalf of whoever is unfortunate enough to wind up there? These ads are usually titled something like ‘Virtual office space for hire in the CBD’, and include a picture that’s clearly styled to make a shoebox room …

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The Three G’s

You wouldn’t expect that a car driven by a ghost needs repairs, especially not when the car is also a ghost. Yeah, that’s right. I’m the Ghost Driver. My life was a happy one, defined for the most part by a single invention. I was born in a car. I learned to drive before I …

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Table Domination

It’s been my dream for the last few years to build a table. Not just any table. The greatest table that has ever been made. It will be the Swiss Army Knife of tables. It will be custom made for games of my favourite tabletop RPG, Castles and Creatures. It will be convertible into a …

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The Reluctant Pirate

Some kids are obsessed with space, others dinosaurs. My brother, Jimmy, was obsessed with pirates. His idea of a pirate was the cartoon kind, where they spend days searching for buried treasure, talking to parrots and fighting evil pirates until one of them is knocked overboard but miraculously unhurt.  You couldn’t imagine his excitement when …

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