No Touch!

My car kit has some very strict rules, rules which I am only too happy to enforce with extreme prejudice. The sweet treats have to be ones that last the longest, with NO mints because mints are evil. All my tools out the back have to be colour-coded royal blue. The wet wipes must never run dry, and I must have the same six CDs on rotation at all times. All times!

I used to go along to this mechanic place just outside the city, which has thankfully closed down. It was run by a kind old man who did his job great, but one time I got my car back and the radio was tuned to a different station and the CDs were out of order. Let’s just say the mechanics near Ringwood received a great boon that day: my patronage. I mean, how very dare a person go through my personal, private CD collection and change the order?

Every single mechanic since then has received the same spiel whenever I drop off the car: no touching, no changing, no alteration. In fact, if you could all just look at the car for a couple of hours and then I’ll come and collect it to do my own work on it, that’d be perfect. I don’t like people messing with my stuff in the slightest, but I can consent to dropping it off at a trusted mechanic so they can have a look at it. If you train as a mechanic, two hours of looking at a car is equivalent to poking around the engine for fifteen minutes, and those fifteen minutes are all I really need. 

If it were up to me, I’d simply arrange to drive slowly through the workshop, the mechanics could all crowd around and walk alongside the car, assessing it as it went. I’d never even have to stop; I could just do another lap while one of them wrote down all the things they thought might be wrong, handed it to me through the window and off I’d go, sending them payment later.

I did suggest that once, but received strange looks and decided that the world wasn’t ready for that level of innovation. One day,  many tasks will be completed using the ‘drive-by’ method, patented by me – even the likes of vehicle inspections. Around Ringwood, at least, I’m hoping this will soon be the norm.

The mechanics do seem to understand, on some level. Even when people have to touch the engine, they’re very gentle and don’t change anything without my express permission.